I am thankful for ...

That heading is what I'm going to be focusing on for a while ... I'm sick of being full of misery on this blog, and I'm sure you're sick of reading it. Anyway, after my emotional meltdown last night, I think it had a bit of a cleansing effect on me - my fighting spirit is back again, and I'm going to try to focus on the positive things in my life. There are many people worse off than me ... while it may be stressful and depressing at times, I need to keep looking ahead :)

So today I'm thankful for all my online friends - your cheering on comments both here and in personal emails has given me a lot of strength to deal with the issues I'm facing. As the old adage goes, "a friend in need is a friend indeed" ... and I really and truly appreciate you all hanging in with me while I've been struggling and less than positive on here.

This morning I spent some time checking out house sitting sites and self storage etc, but I've been thinking of leaving any major decisions until the New Year. I have Mum visiting for six weeks in February, and I'd rather have everything 'as usual' during that time at least ... and it will give me plenty of time to get my head together.

Tonight was a different task ... I've been sending emails to the UK, to the manufacturers of Babycham! I don't know why, but since this morning I've got it in my head that I want to make up my own stocking. Why?? Because my stocking is the one Christmas tradition Mum did for me every year until I was 'too old' for it (I repeat for you again, Mum, I'm never ever too old for it hahaha). Such a simple thing - a stocking was waiting under the tree every year ... nothing glamorous and expensive, but filled with love - Christmas just wasn't Christmas without my stocking! What was in my stocking that made it so special? ... There was always a handful of nuts in their shells (brazil nuts, hazelnuts, walnuts etc), maybe an apple and an orange, and a couple of chocolate bars and sweeties, and the piece de resistance ... a small bottle of Babycham! When I was in my teens there would be some additional treats in there too, like a pair of 'fashion' earrings or something similar. I don't know why, but that stocking tradition has remained in my heart as something very very special about Christmas.

When I moved to Australia the first 8 months here sharing were abysmal for many reasons (a couple of you know those stories from personal emails, but I'm not going into it now) - when Fraze and I moved out to our own place in Box Hill, it was going be our first Christmas 'on our own' ... by the time Christmas came, we also had Andrew living with us too - and I decided to do the Christmas stocking ritual for them ... although instead of Babycham they got cans of beer haha - they also got a few 'silly things' like car polish and DVD cases and things. While I didn't have my own stocking, watching the two boys unwrap everything in their own stockings was wonderful, and I really loved it. Andrew said that that was the most special Christmas he'd had, and even though he spent the rest of the day with his family, the morning with us was the most magical. I do have to admit I did feel the same way too at the time (shame the rest of our living arrangements with him weren't quite so magical in the long run haha).

Anyway, being the first Christmas on my own, I'm making my own stocking ... and I'm trying to track down whether Babycham is available for sale locally somewhere, as I'll be treating myself as my big Christmas Day treat. We used to be able to buy it in New Zealand, so I presume you can buy it here somewhere too, and it's pretty cheap to buy even though it's imported. If not, then I'll substitute with a $3.99 mini bottle of Asti Riccadonna instead ... woohoo, big spender LOL. Add to that my fave Christmas song playing loudly on the stereo (ie Snoopy's Christmas - it gets me singing at the top of my lungs every time!), and I'll be all set! ;)

I'm actually working on both Christmas Day and Boxing Day, which will be a financial boost thank goodness - and someone at work actually cooks up a Christmas dinner for us all, which will be a lovely treat :) I can't believe how close it is to the 'big day' already ...

Ooh, I didn't realise how close midnight was either - better run and hit the hay for the night, as I need to be up early tomorrow. The Christmas tree dress is back out again ready for dress-up day tomorrow, but I have to get up early to get a 'plate of food' to share with everyone ... so I'm making Doreen's Apricot Slice again (cheap ingredients, and so very comforting for me, as it brings back all those wonderful happy childhood memories again - the perfect blessing for my day!).